Mothering Tips - 5 Ways to Bond With Your Pre-Schooler
By Rachel Perry Pellegrini

By creating a deep emotional bond with your child when they are young, you will have developed routines and patterns of communication that will help your child for the rest of their lives. These five tips give a mother some suggestions for things that can be done on a daily or weekly basis to really connect with their child.

1. Listen to your child even when it's painful.

Really hear what your child has to say to you especially when they are upset. Bend down so you are at their level (remember that your adult size can be intimidating to a child). Repeat their words back to them and ask, "Is this what you are saying? Is this how you feel?" Thank them for sharing their feelings with you. Sometimes that is enough to help them feel better.

2. Keep your promises

The best way to build your child's trust in you is by doing what you say you will do. If you find yourself wanting to promise something that you are not sure you can fulfill tell them that. Say, "I'm not sure that I can take you ice-skating this weekend, but I want to. Let's wait and see if it is open and if it is we will go." That's better then saying, "We will go ice-skating" only to find out it is closed and you have broken your promise.

3. Don't buy presents out of guilt

This is tempting to do. When you are out shopping, even for groceries, if you are feeling even the least bit guilty about the way something has gone wrong lately with your child, it is so tempting to buy a treat to come home with. Resist the temptation and bring home a hug instead. Your child will appreciate 15 minutes with you on the couch reading a story more than ANY toy you can find in the store.

4. Take A Step Back

If you're child has had a bad day and just "hasn't been himself" after you spend time comforting and nurturing him then give him his own space to learn to nurture himself. This could mean he goes into his room a 1/2 hour before bed time and is allowed to play quietly for that time. He will have time to think and feel without being observed by parents and in his play he may be able to work out some issues that bothered him that day.

5. Pray with your child.

Not every mother considers this very important. But the practice of praying with Mom can develop some great skills that will be with the child for the rest of her life. Make a practice of praying morning, noon, and night. It could be as simple as a few words of thanks to God in the morning, a thanks for the food at lunch, and a thanks for the day, in the evening. This will teach the child gratitude and humility. These skills of always turning to God throughout the day will have a positive impact on the child for the rest of her life.

By listening to the child, building trust, giving of your time instead of products, and by giving your child down time as well as teaching them the importance of prayer you are modeling for your child the type of character traits that you would like to see in them as they grow and are capable of making their own choices.

Remember to hear the child so they do not always feel talked to, but that they are received as well.

Build trust with your child so that when they are older and have difficult decisions to make they know they can trust you to give guidance.

Cherish the time you have with your child because these precious moments when they are young will not last.

Teach your child to have confidence in themselves and realize they have the inner ability to make themselves feel better (as we all do).

Pray with your child to remind your child that we are never alone and that God is with us at all times and under all conditions.